Free mike jones t-shirts and cute sayings

Cute

   It's a little known fact that the Dark Ages were caused by unresolved Y1K issues.
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   Any twelve people who can't get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers.
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   Why did Mr. & Mrs. Howell pack so much clothing for a three hour tour?
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   You look like a big glass of water and I sure am thirsty!
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   Strangers have the best candy
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   Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a gun.
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   Don t forget to wash behind your ears.
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   An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end.
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   Absence makes the heart go wander.
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   Q. How do you get 400 Canadians out of a public pool.
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   Death called while you were out, so I gave him your pager number.
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   I envy your lipstick.
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   The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
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   Mankind is divided into two classes: those who earn their living by the sweat of their brow, and those who sell them handkerchiefs, cold drinks, and electric fans.
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   A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most. (George Bernard Shaw)
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   If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.~Albert Einstein
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   Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?
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   Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?
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   In difficult moments, behave like a duck. Keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but keep paddling away underneath.
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   Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
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   Pardon My Driving. I’m Reloading
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   Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
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   I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
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   Burning the candle at both ends
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   After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.
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